Four years ago, Garry* packed up his caravan and hit the road.
At 74, he’s like many other ‘grey nomads’ his age, except for one difference — he’s also looking for love along the way, and he’s using the internet to better his chances.

“I suppose I'm the world’s greatest optimist in seeking to have a special lady in my life,” he says. “Once you’re in your 70s, all most [people] need is the warmth and comfort of a compatible companion. But finding that someone is a challenge.”

Garry is one of a growing number of senior Australians who have turned to online dating in their search for love and companionship.

“There’s so few avenues as an older person to meet people,” says Sue Malta, a PhD Candidate at Swinburne University who has been studying the online dating habits of older Australians.

“To meet single older adults, are you going to go to pubs and clubs? I don’t think so… Most people are married or partnered, or you have to go to young people’s bars. Unless you’ve got friends who have single friends, it’s problematic.”

Online matchmaking is a multimillion-dollar industry.
In 2005, one of Australia’s largest online dating sites, RSVP.com.au, was sold to the Fairfax media group with a price tag of almost $40 million.
With 1.6 million members Australia wide (that’s equivalent to a dating population the size of Perth) RSVP is certainly one of the behemoths of the online dating industry.

Of its 1.6 million members, RSVP states 18 per cent are over 50, and this figure is rapidly increasing.

Sue Malta says her research into the online lives of older people debunks two major myths: firstly, that seniors can’t use the internet and secondly, that they don’t have sex.

“Some people who didn’t know how to use computers but were interested in using online dating services, had gone out and learned deliberately how to use a computer so that they could use it specifically for online dating,” she says.

And although many seniors were using the internet to find companionship and platonic friendships, the majority of her sample group said their relationships became sexual, and often quite quickly.

“Certainly some [people] said they were shocked at how sexual they were, especially those who had been in one relationship for a very long time.”

In fact, Sue says many of her interviewees were surprised to find themselves discovering “that sex is bloody fantastic and having a wonderful time, and that they are far more sexual than they thought possible.”

Sue says a sense of foreshortened time may be a factor in deciding when to jump into the sack, with many of her interviewees feeling time was precious.

“Many people found themselves thinking: there’s so little time left, I better grab every experience…why wait? What is the point of waiting?”

Changing social mores and increased sex education could also be a factor.
“We’re talking about people who grew up in an era where sexuality wasn’t talked about, teenage pregnancy was hidden and shameful, you didn’t have children outside of wedlock — I mean, what even is that term?”

At 61, Rita* and David* might be at the younger end of the ‘seniors’ spectrum, but they already felt the clock was ticking for them in the romance stakes.

“We corresponded only once by email before we met in person…It was love at first sight and we have been totally immersed in each other ever since!”

The two were married in 2006, and say they could be leading very different lives right now if it weren’t for online dating.

“Without [it] we would never have met, and what a tragedy that would have been… We are so happy that we have found each other, and wish it could have been 40 years sooner!”

But as promising as their story might sound, finding love online is not always easy. For many seniors, the internet can still feel ‘off limits’.

According to Australian seniors groups, many older people feel isolated or ‘left behind’ in the online age.

But a spokesperson from the University of the Third Age says specially designed courses such as Broadband for Seniors can help older adults keep up to date with the internet and develop skills with new technologies, including social networking.

The Broadband For Seniors course teaches participants how to “speak to their friends overseas via email or facebook... surf the net, play games, do more research on courses... it’s just keeping them au fait with what’s happening all over, whatever is new and everything else they can keep up with!”

Though many seniors might still feel isolated by computers or the internet, the proportion of adults aged over 65 using the internet continues to grow. Between 1996 and 2004, the number of seniors using the internet in America jumped dramatically from 2 to 22 per cent.

On the other side of the world, browsing the internet has become the number one pastime for seniors in the UK, with the current generation of ‘silver surfers’ spending up to six hours a week online.
Forget knitting and lawn bowls, 41 per cent of retired Brits named using the internet as one of their favourite pastimes, followed by DIY, gardening, travel and walking. According to the survey, four in ten retired people also described themselves as ‘regular internet shoppers’.

For seniors with limited mobility, the internet can open up new possibilities to meet people and establish communities, romantic or not, without having to worry about the logistics of getting out and about.

“Even if you don’t find a partner, it gives you an opportunity to make friends,” says Sue, with many of her interviewees noting they are still friends with dates they met online, even if they didn’t hit it off romantically.

In the past 20 years, the portion of Australians aged 85+ has increased by over 167 per cent. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the number of Australians aged over 65 is estimated to reach 25 per cent of the population by 2051. Increased life expectancy has contributed to the rise, but beyond age 65, the ratio of women to men drastically declines, due to higher male mortality in this age group. In June 2009, there were almost twice as many females as males in the 85+ age group, with 251,800 women compared to just 131,600 men.

Val French, president of Older People Speaking Out, says older people — no matter what their gender — can find it difficult to connect with others, romantically or socially.

“There are a lot of socially isolated people amongst seniors, that’s for sure,” she says.

“Older people can become reticent to mix with new people, especially if they are on their own after a divorce or the death of a spouse.

They find it difficult sometimes to go out and join anything if they haven’t got somebody to go with. To do something like that on your own for anybody at any age can be overwhelming.” Val says that older Australians benefit from meeting new people and having support networks to back them up, and more is needed in the community to address the issues of social isolation amongst seniors.

Alone in a Crowd – Supporting Older Australians Managing Loneliness, is a three-year study commissioned by the Australian Research Council that aims to understand loneliness amongst older Australians and inform support services.

The study found that loneliness is a “pressing social and health issue” for many older Australians, and among the many recommendations included in the report is the implementation of education programs for older people to “empower seniors and increase their capacity to address loneliness”.



Over the past five years, the number of RSVP members aged over 50 has grown by more than 221 per cent, and Sue Malta says that figure is set to grow exponentially. “I just think more and more older people will use the internet to find partners in the future…it will grow and grow enormously.”

Garry hopes his success rate will climb too, but for now he’s happy just giving it a shot and enjoying connecting with people. “To me RSVP is a bit of fun. It's not very often that I get a chance to meet someone for a chat over coffee. But when I do it's fun.”

And despite not having met the right lady just yet, Garry says he would still recommend online dating to other people his age, especially if they are settled in one location.
“I like the exchange of emails, but find most ladies are looking for that someone local, and I find not very adventurous at all. I think for those who are more permanently established it's a good thing.”

*At the request of participants, names have been changed to protect privacy.